There is no end

For class I am supposed to right a paper on a significant moment in our lives. When I was writing it this morning I realized I hadn't born my testimony on this for a long time. The two (my paper and my testimony) probably seem unconnected but trust me when I say that they are both intimately connected. 

I cant begin to say how much the Lord has changed me. Not just once but so many times in my life. First when I was a child, when I was young after seeing a ghost movie with my friends, I wondered if God could comfort me. I remember, after crawling into the top bunk, I asked my dad "does God exist?" I expected him to tell me yes, but instead he said "well, you should find out for yourself." And that got me thinking. Does God exist? 

I prayed as a child and picked up the Bible and The Book of Mormon. The more I read them, the more I realized that God did live. Not just by what they said, because any book can say anything, but by the way that I felt. There was a burning in my chest that I felt no where else. I could not fake it. But in high school I began to doubt that I was even worth any of it, and because of not understanding the Atonement, I thought that it was pointless for me to try and be a good person; I always messed up. 

Through the years and through many trials of my own, I began to come to know what the Atonement really means to me, and what Christ has done for me. Jesus Christ, the most amazing being (except for God only), actually died for me. Not just for really good people, but for sinners like me. For people who mess up everyday like me. My heart swells at knowing his heart has felt pain for my pain and that I can be perfect through and by him. Its not a question as to my ability to be perfect, but my ability to have faith that he has the power and the purity of heart to save me. Save me from not just a Hell that we all think of, but of a down cast heart, of a life not lived, a smile unused, or of unfulfilled promises. 

I know God lives. I know that he is my father in heaven, that he loves me so much, and that he is always listening to my prayers. I cant begin to tell you how much I love him. I know I dont always show it, and I bet its irritating to him (:) ), but I try. 

I am so blessed, and every day I am bewildered as to how many blessings I do have. I know that he will answer my prayers if I ask in faith and if I ask for things that I should. I know that he will guide me to places I never thought I could be. I know that this life is made with joy and that he wants us to be happy in any circumstance we are in. Not a fake happy, not a pasty smile, but a peace, a warmth inside, that even when you feel sad or depressed, he can be there to comfort you. I know this with ALL of my heart because I have felt it. I have been sad, I have been in the depths of sorrow, but he reached down and lifted me up. There is sunshine in my soul today because a God in heaven has seen it in his holy heart to save a wretch like me. 

There is peace on earth, there is hope. He is my God and I promise to him every day that I will serve him and worship him with all of my heart, no matter what befalls me. Although I am human and flawed in every aspect, I know that I can be forgiven and that someday I can be with those that I love forever and ever, in happiness and joy. Its so wonderful and I am so blessed to have such a promise and such a wonderful future.