Marriage, good or ill?

Marriage: One of the most daunting words I had ever heard before I actually was married.
I had heard many mixed responses from people when I asked the question "How do you like being married?" I asked it over and over to anyone I met that was married. I got answers like "Its really hard, sometimes I wonder if its worth it." or "Its wonderful! The best thing ever!" or "Its hard work but its worth it." or "Stay single as loooong as you can." or "Marriage is alright. Its no big deal I guess." It baffled me, how can one question have so many different answers?
I have discovered that it is the same as beauty, it is all in the eye of the beholder. In the first weeks it was blissful and I wondered "how could anyone tell me that marriage was so bad?" Then people would tell me "your still in the honeymoon faze, you will soon hate each other." or "The first few months were terrible! If you make it after two your good to go." We have been married for about two months now, almost three. My conclusion? Unchanged. It is all about what you want to see it as.
If someone were to ask me what marriage was like, first I would tell them I am biased because I have only been married three months. Second, I would say that it all depends on the person. For me, it is amazing, the most wonderful thing I could ever have imagined. Why? Not in spite of hard work, some misunderstandings, rough times, or disagreements, but because of them. I want to liken it to a hobby. For me its writing, or running, or baking, or painting. The process is difficult, but it is so worth it because I enjoy the process as well as the finished product. I would not enjoy running as much as I do if it were easy. I like it because I am challenged, because when I feel my muscles screaming "STOP!!" I push past it, I feel a sense of triumph when I do not give in to my weakness. Same as when I am painting. I come to a road block, it looks dumb or I think that the colors dont look right. I hear "GIVE UP!!", but I dont, I press on because its all about what I will end up with after my toils. It is the same as marriage, you work hard for things to be good. It isnt good on its own, it can't flourish without watering, it needs attention, care, and love.
For me, I wouldn't want to marry into a perfect marriage with the perfect guy. Why? Because I am not perfect. I would feel uncomfortable, left behind, or even more insecure. But, because I married a man who is maturing, with a constantly maturing relationship, I can feel comfortable because I too am flawed, but progressing. (At least I hope) Its all about your perspective. Nothing that is of worth does not have some kind of work in it, whether it be ongoing or in the past or future, everything has work in it. Work is probably the golden word of the universe. Work is amazing, but sometimes difficult. But as I said before, without the difficult it would no longer be worth it. A diamond takes a very long time to come into existence, and because of that fact it is of so much worth.
To those contemplating marriage, marriage is only wonderful when you find the person that you can truly be yourself with and that helps you grow. Dont settle. I didn't and I knew that I didn't have to, I knew that if I just stayed with it I would find a man that was both my best friend and my dream lover. I am happy to say that yes, he is mortal. He does make mistakes, but I love him not in spite of his faults, but because of his faults. I think he is adorable when he makes a mistake and when he accidentally says something that may hurt my feelings I know that he does not mean to and that he loves me. I am very very very very very very very very very very very VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY lucky to have him in my life, to bless me with his adoring attitude, with his selflessness, with his kindness, with his honesty, with his loyalty, with his faith, with his fun, with his attractiveness, with his forgiveness, with his patience, with his physical touch, with his wisdom, with his intelligence, with his dreams, and with his aspirations. I cannot live without him. I do not want to. But, at the same time I know that if he were gone (which tears me apart to think about) I know that I could live a full life because of the lessons he taught me, because of his faith in me, and because of him inspiring me from all of his big dreams. I could not have asked for a better man. Looking back at all of the men that I dated, he surpasses them all with flying colors. I am just so grateful that #1. I waited. #2. I didnt settle #3. I was able to go to the temple with him to be able to be with him forever. #4. that he, for some odd reason, finds that I am worth his time, effort, and love.
My advice? To the already married who may not be satisfied: Serve. I noticed that if I am ever cranky or not feeling my best, whenever I serve Jake things are so much better because he is happy. If he is happy, then it bleeds into my attitude. To the single and searching: hang in there, but don't be so picky and expect someone perfect. Just look for "just right for you", Not Mr. Right/Mr. Perfect, but Mr. right for me. Jake is perfect for me, but not for every girl (thank heavens). And don't expect marriage to be horrible because then it will be, expect hard work but WONDERFUL results.
Marriage is a dying cause. The reason? I believe it is because of our selfish and anti-work society that has pumped us full as "make yourself happy first" or "you shouldnt have to work so hard." and such. Try and look past that. If you do things will most likely become better.