So recently I found out something about my body that I didnt really like. At first I was alright with it but then I was slowly taken in to self pity and mini-despair. I was bitter for the things that I would have to give up, simple pleasures that I had indulged in many times. Someone told me that I could not do what I always enjoyed doing, telling me what I could and could not do, and I became angry. I wanted to say that no one can tell me what to do, I didn't even deserve it. I had taken so good of my body, so much better than so many other people, and here I was suffering for what? While other people snacked on chips, my snack was a bag of fresh spinach. Really? What had I done? So why can every other person eat whatever they like and be okay, and here I am making sure that I never have a problem and I am the one who gets screwed. Is life ever fair?
Then, I went to a concert and as I was listening to the beautiful music, watching the conductor swaying and leaping about to the music I looked across the front row and saw a young man who I knew was blind. His head was tilted to the side, listening intently, yet not seeing the source of the beautiful sounds. As Jake and I were leaving he was behind us so Jake tried to hold the door open for him but somehow got in his way and bumped him. He mumbled a sorry and walked off with his white stick flying fiercely back and forth. Then a thought suddenly came to my mind. "how dare I complain." I looked up into Jakes smiling face, his sparkling blue eyes, and I could see him, I reached up and touched his back; I could feel him. As we walked I looked down at my legs, I was able to walk on my own. As we left the building my breath was caught in my chest as I saw that the blue sky had been burnt by a fiery sunset, glowing pinks and searing reds: bright and majestic "I have every reason to be thankful".
As I watched a girl push herself in her wheel chair, two very small and useless legs dangling over the edge, I couldnt help but think of all of the things that I take for granted. I have no reason to complain or to feel sorry for myself. So what I got a hiccup in my life, so what? Now I have to eat healthy. I think thats a great thing. Its hard at the beginning especially when you feel so alone and different from everyone else, but all of this has been such great blessings. Going through this little mini hard thing has helped me realize that: number one, complaining doesn't help anything or anyone; Second, there is always someone who has it worst than you; third, having a Job attitude will get you a long way; Fourth, usually the hardships of today are blessings of tomorrow when you finally realize why you had them and what they have given to you.
Now, because of my little problem, I want to do more with my life and I want to reach out to people who may have any troubles. I really want to be a nutritionist and help society become more aware of health problems and help us be more healthy. I just want to make a difference for someone. I dont know how I can, but I really want to. I just want to stop saying "I." Is there a way to help anyone in a meaningful way? A life cannot really be enjoyed unless it is spent finding joy in other people's joy. Life is just not worth living if you only looked after yourself.
3 comments:
SO do you have diabetes? Did you get all the tests done? That would be way cool if you were a nutritionist. You could help all of us get healthier!!
Hello lovely girl. So, I am wondering what your "little problem" is? (If you don't mind sharing.) Because, in May I found out I have Celiac disease, and I had much the same reaction as you. But, I have to tell you, even though I have felt like it isn't "fair" a few times, that I can't have bread like everyone else, or that there was nothing I could eat at a friends house, since I have cut out gluten I feel SO good! So, whether it's Celiac, or whatever, there is light in the tunnel! Not even at the end, right over your head! I promise! =) Dede Bessey
Im sorry, thats lame, but im so glad that you feel better :) Im not exactly sure what is wrong but they say that I have prediabetes, but im kind of thinking that I might have daibetes now because ive been getting sicker and sicker. Its kind of frustrating but I know that it will all work out. :) Thanks Dede, that really helps, especially to hear from someone who knows how I feel. thanks
Post a Comment